If someone were to ask, “What’s your value?” how would you respond?
Many of us pause and start talking about our jobs, contributions, and achievements.
What people have said about us, and the value they have gained from us.
But what we’re describing isn’t our true value; it’s the external value we bring.
Understanding this distinction is vital because it reveals a common misconception:
WE OFTEN MEASURE OUR WORTH BY WHAT WE DO, NOT BY WHO WE ARE.
DISCOVERING TRUE VALUE
The journey to understanding your intrinsic worth can be challenging but immensely rewarding. It requires peeling back layers of conditioning and societal expectations to reveal the simplicity and power of your true self and your intrinsic value.
It requires you to connect to, own and accept that YOU ARE OF VALUE BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU!
THE STRUGGLE OF VALUE IDENTITY
For years, I grappled with understanding my intrinsic value. Focused on providing as much value as I could in what I did. Being driven by perfectionism.
It impacted me emotionally, mentally, and financially.
Often leaving me feeling not good enough, unworthy, and having helped so many but at my expense in so many ways.
My turning point came when I had to liquidate my businesses in Australia. The experience was emotionally overwhelming, filled with self-judgment and shame. I questioned my value without my businesses. Who was I and what would I do, if I didnt have my businesses.
I realized that my identity and value were intertwined with my professional roles and actions.
This realization led me to understand that my perceived value was based on external validation—what I did, not who I was. This pattern is what I call a “value identity.”
If you’ve ever felt that your value was tied to your achievements, you’ve likely developed a value identity as well.
WHAT ARE VALUE IDENTITIES?
They’re how you learned to prove your worth and value based on early experiences, family dynamics, and societal messages.
EXAMPLES OF value identities YOU CAN ADOPT:
- Achiever: Driven by goals and accomplishments.
- Leader: Motivated by influence and guidance.
- Creator: Inspired by innovation and artistic expression.
- Protector: Focused on safety and security.
THE VALUE CONDITIONING TRAP
Our upbringing and societal influences shape our beliefs, behaviors, and our relationship with value.
Many of us grew up without adequate recognition of our intrinsic value, leading us to find validation in achievements and external accolades.
This conditioning teaches us that our value lies in what we do, leading us to seek validation through accomplishments, roles, and external approval. With no awareness that our value is in who we are.
Chasing External Validation
This conditioned way of thinking is a trap, keeping us perpetually chasing external validation and dimming the power, light and radiance of our true selves.
We look for value through others’ eyes, leaving us emotionally vulnerable to their reactions.
If they validate us, we feel of value. If they don’t we feel lacking, and that we have let them and ourselves down.
This cycle can lead to codependent relationships, burnout, and disempowerment. For example, as I said, in my quest to help others, and make sure that what we were offering was of true value, I often did so at my own expense, leading to financial, emotional, and energetic depletion.
UNMASKING YOUR TRUE VALUE
Understanding and honoring the value identities we’ve adopted is essential. They’ve been crucial parts of who we are.
However, we must also recognize that our true value—the intrinsic worth within us—has always been there.
This intrinsic value is independent of external achievements or validation.
Rediscovering Your Intrinsic Value
Your true value is a core part of who you are. It encompasses your uniqueness, quirks, and even similarities. Acknowledging and appreciating these qualities helps rediscover your intrinsic worth.
The Journey To Your True Value
Unmasking your true value is a journey. It involves exploring the value conditioning traps and identities that have shaped you. This process will guide you back to appreciating your inherent value and worth.
From External Validation To Intrinsic Value
When driven by a need for external validation, you operate from a place of lack of self-worth, making you susceptible to emotional impacts from the external world. Rediscovering your true value shifts this dynamic.
You reclaim your personal power and align with your true self.
By operating from a place of self-worth, YOU EXPRESS PURE VALUE, recognizing the beauty, power, and uniqueness within you.
STEPS TO UNMASKING YOUR TRUE VALUE
- Identify And Understand Your Value Identities
- Acknowledge And Unravel The Conditioning That Contributed To Your Lack Of Value And Self-Worth
- Journey Inwards And Recognize And Own Your True Value
- Align Yourself Energetically To Your True Self, And Your Limitless Self-Worth
EMBRACING YOUR TRUE VALUE
YOUR TRUE VALUE LIES WITHIN YOU!
It’s not defined by external achievements or validations but by your inherent worth as an individual.
The journey to unmasking this value is about peeling back the layers of value conditioning and rediscovering the beauty and power that has always existed within you.
Embark on this transformative journey.
Explore the value identities you’ve adopted, acknowledge the conditioning that has shaped you, and embrace your intrinsic worth.
This journey will guide you to align with your true self, reclaim personal power, and express your pure, authentic value.
Next Steps: Unmask The TRUE VALUE Of You
Ready To Reconnect To Your Intrinsic Value?
If this post has sparked reflection within you, causing you to question your ‘value identities’ and your true value, it’s time to take action. Access “Unmask The True Value Of You,” a self-worth empowerment toolkit designed to guide you on the journey of reconnecting with your true, intrinsic value.
Final Reflection!
Melinda Cates
Founder and creator of I Make a Difference and your true self empowerment facilitator. If you are interested in delving into the processes within you that require your attention for healing, unraveling and reconnecting on your journey back to your true self, then make sure you join the I Make a Difference community – Connect Now!