Be you, the real you and the truth of where you are at in your process to reclaim the true you.
So why is it so popular to be ‘the best version of you’.
“Be the best version of yourself” – you see and hear on Blogs, Podcasts and Radio
“You inspire me to be the best version of me” – I have heard on TV
“I am being the best version of me” – often posted on Social Media
“It allows me to be the best version of me” – I have heard friends mention
So please explain to me what being the ‘Best Version of Yourself’ is.
I saw the picture above with this woman standing in the room she is in, surrounded by these photos of women who look like her and I kept hearing the words ‘be the best version of myself’. I could feel her processing and asking herself “which is the best version of me, which version will I choose to be today?”
I have spent a bit of time over the last month, seeing what my processing brings forth when I ponder on the words – ‘the best version of me’. I had reactions to these words to start with as they felt like being me was not acceptable: my reactions, my truth, my independence, my non conformity, my strength, my questions and doing right by me – and yet this is me. And what kept coming up in my processing was – if I am being a version of me and I am picking that part of me that I believe is the best, then what happens to the rest of me?
Who gets to decide what is the best part of me?
Who gets to decide what the best version of me is?
Why can’t I just be me – the real me?
Why isn’t all of me in who I am – the best for me?
Or as my close friend put it – why can’t I just BE.
THE WORD ‘VERSION’
If there is a ‘best version’ of you then there are other versions of you. I call them personas.
Different parts of you that you show people or that you believe people want you to be. They are driven by an emotional need to be safe and secure and protect yourself from judgement and rejection, so that you fit in, are liked, accepted and loved. Your personas have been created because who you truly are, was not accepted, rather you were rejected. So in choosing another persona over others, you are continuing to keep the cycle of rejection going.
Choosing a ‘best version’ is a viewpoint and it is based on judgement.
And if it is based on judgement, then you are judging the versions of you that deem not the best. If you are judging you, then you are rejecting you, because you are making these parts of you wrong. So you continue to perpetuate your conditioning from your past. You diminish your ability to heal and work with you. You give your power away to what you have rejected in you, as this leaves you exposed to having emotional reactions if others reject these parts of you. Their rejection buys into yours.
Sharing the best version of you with others, is you feeling emotionally safe with them. What happens when you are not. What happens when they are not the best version of themselves and don’t support you in feeling loved, accepted and safe.
Being the best version of you is not sustainable. It often is reliant on others.
THE REAL YOU
Why is it not as simple as being the real you?
Not everyone knows who they truly are. It is a process of unravelling, healing, reclaiming, uncovering and discovering. It is a process that involves lots of emotions and feelings and facing your truth.
A start in being the real you is owning what you are thinking, feeling and processing in the moment, and exposing it to you. It is about being truthful with you. It does not require you to share it with anyone, except you, unless it is right for you to do so. It is where you don’t make what you are experiencing wrong, you make it ok. No judging and rejecting the parts of you that so so so want your attention and help.
The more you accept and heal you, the more space you create within you for you to reconnect and connect to the true you.
You know the true you. You will have a conscious memory of a time in your life when everything inside and outside of you felt good and right, where you felt safe and you trusted you. Even if you experienced it only for a moment, an hour or a day. You can find that part of you again. In the journey to doing so, be you in all the moments of your day. Be truthful with you as to what you are experiencing and do it with the intention of being true to you.
In being true to you in a moment, you take a step towards being who you truly are and being the real you. Not a version of you.