Unconscious deservedness often shapes our experiences, leading us to accept less than we truly deserve.
Many of us navigate life with ingrained beliefs that dictate our worth, settling into routines and situations without questioning whether they genuinely reflect our value.
This silent acceptance can keep us trapped, preventing us from recognizing our true potential and the opportunities that await us.
By exploring our patterns and gut feelings, we can begin to question these patterns and reclaim what we truly deserve.
Unconscious Deservedness In Business
In my years of working with businesses and guiding them through cultural change there was one question that repeatedly surfaced. It directly reflected the self-worth of the organization: “Why do you do what you are doing, the way you are?”
Almost every time, the answer was the same: “Because that’s how we’ve always done it.”
This simple response highlights a much deeper mindset that many of us adopt in our own lives: a quiet acceptance of “how things are.”
When I asked, “How do you feel about that?” employees often realized they had opportunities for growth and change—opportunities they hadn’t even considered.
This acceptance of the status quo—whether in business or life—is a sign of how we can become conditioned to believe that what we have is all we deserve.
This mindset runs deep.
Over time, it can lead to a lack of self-worth and a belief that we don’t deserve anything better.
If we don’t stop to question why things are the way they are, we risk remaining stuck in situations that don’t serve us. This is because we believe, unconsciously, that it’s all we’re entitled to.
The Pattern of Unconscious Deservedness
Unconscious deservedness is when we unknowingly settle for circumstances, relationships, or experiences that don’t reflect our true worth.
It’s a PATTERN OF ACCEPTING WHAT'S FAMILIAR, not because it fulfills us or aligns with our potential, but SIMPLY BECAUSE WE'VE NEVER QUESTIONED IT.
Unconscious Deservedness In Action
During a recent visit to a laundry service, I witnessed this firsthand.
I was there only for a one-time wash, but the other women in the room had been using this laundry for years.
As I was chatting to them waiting for my washing, a knowing urge prompted me to check the temperature of the washing machine.
To my surprise, I discovered it was set to cold.
When I asked the owner, he confirmed that they only offered cold water washes—no hot options available.
The ladies around me were shocked; they had simply accepted the service without questioning its quality or suitability.
This moment highlighted how easy it is to unconsciously settle for less than we deserve, even in seemingly minor aspects of our lives.
The Pattern of Unconscious Deservedness
This process isn’t limited to seemingly non-impacting experiences like laundry services; but they are still important. It also manifests in our careers, relationships, and personal growth.
If we don’t take the time to explore how things are or question why things are the way they are, we may unconsciously choose to stay in situations that don’t align with our true worth.
The chances are we will settle for less, unaware that better possibilities are available.
Often, we find ourselves on autopilot, following routines that feel comfortable but may not serve us well.
For instance, when I observed the women at the laundry, I realized they had accepted the service without ever questioning its quality.
Their unexamined routine reflected a broader mindset: one that can lead us to believe that what we have is all we deserve.
This silent acceptance can inhibit our growth, preventing us from recognizing the opportunities that await us IF WE JUST TAKE THE TIME TO ASK QUESTIONS.
Transforming Acceptance into Awareness
If we don’t challenge the status quo and truly reflect on how we feel about our current situations, we risk continuing to settle for less than we deserve.
This can manifest in all areas of life—our work, relationships, and personal development.
So, how do you break free from this cycle of unconscious deservedness?
- Question the Status Quo: Regularly ask yourself why you do things the way you do. What are you accepting without thought? Why are things the way they are? This questioning can reveal areas of your life where you’re unconsciously settling for less.
- Evaluate How You Feel: Be honest about how your current situation makes you feel. Are you fulfilled? Thriving? Or merely getting by? These feelings can provide insight into whether you’re accepting something below what you deserve.
- Question and Explore Automatic Acceptance: Just because something has “always been this way” doesn’t mean it’s right for you. The past doesn’t define your worth or your potential. By questioning your routines and experiences, you can begin to open up to possibilities that reflect your true value.
We all have areas of life where unconscious deservedness might be at play, limiting our potential.
By regularly asking questions and evaluating what we’re accepting, we can break free from automatic acceptance and make space for what we truly deserve.
It’s time to challenge the status quo—both in business and in life—and start receiving what’s truly meant for us.
Next Steps...
Unconscious deservedness is a conditioned state, that stems from experiences of lack. I dive deeper into this process in my video - Empower Your Self-Worth.
Are you committed to strengthening your connection to self-worth and want to grow your ability to experience more of what you truly deserve? Do you want to elevate your awareness and be more conscious of your deservedness?
If you do, then you’ll want to check out the I Deserve course.
Melinda Cates
Founder and creator of I Make a Difference and your true self empowerment facilitator. If you are interested in delving into the processes within you that require your attention for healing, unraveling and reconnecting on your journey back to your true self, then make sure you join the I Make a Difference community – Connect Now!